Make the most of my life

Sad news today...

A friend revealed that someone 2 years younger than I, and in great shape, basically just dropped dead.

She sent me a text, extolling the importance if living now.

I've been well aware if this for years, as in the early part if 2000, I was diagnosed with sarcoidosis. The disease went into remission, but I was left with a powerful sense of needing to make my time count!

But up to now that played out in the form if being a good partner in a marriage. But that relationship ended, and so I find myself working in repurposing my approach to life.

Music specifically political folk music and Reggae dance music, are in the forefront of my heart.

This brings up a lot of fear and trepidation about the risks involved, but I find myself feeling cavalier about consequences.

I just want to go out and play ... Damn the torpedoes ... Share my love of music and add to the world through that medium.

There are myriad choices before me... I know my heart, but do I have the courage to live it?










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Location:Burbank Airport,Burbank,United States

New Life

The days flow by and I'm farther and farther from the false sense of security I had in my former marriage.

There is this odd feeling of regret as I realize that I really didn't ever live alone before being married. I didn't really develop a lifestyle, or style beyond the most basic bohemian aspirations that marked my 20s.

I've started to question things, deep things like life's purpose, and what I identify with as "who I am". Star Wars toy archives, married man, musician... They all seem to point at some aspect of me, but don't really speak to my character or deeper places.

I'm noticing some fear around all this, noticing I don't really have a home, just a room in a house I share.

I find myself longing for a place to live that's all my own, where I can hang art and listen to music, grow a garden, write songs...

Unfold into a broader definition of being, one that actually has a flavor, a vibe. I want to have a space where a woman can come and be immersed in my world.

I'd like her to be able to feel something that she can take with her, that she'll long to return to when she desires a little different space than her own...

Being an individual energy, a place where my particular flavor of sanctuary can take form and hold me inside it....

Whoever I am....


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Letting Go

Seems like I'm being striped of some things against my will.

Then there are old stories I'm trying to neutralize.

Then there is this curious letting go of expectations or attachments which might be forming around new gifts and emerging relationships. Imagine, finding a magnificent piece of red sea glass on a beach... Our first instinct is to want to posses it, take it home with us, a reminder of the day, the place...

What happens when you find one that is so magnificent, exquisite and smooth, that you decide not to look for anymore?

When the next day you don't even want to look for more, because you just want to watch the sun shine on the one you found yesterday ...

Does the seeker ever find and stop seeking?... Is the desire the important part of seeking?... Is that where we come alive, or perhaps is it in the deep satisfaction of finding...?

Depends on the tides...
















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Equanimity

Turning wheel
Rolling free
Soul ignited
Let it be
Heart on fire
Feet in the sea
Tide is out
To infinity
Flickering flames
Whisper to me
Gathering dry wood
Bird flys free
Coals glowing heat
Wait and see
Smoke signals from shore
There's no guarantee
Toes covered in sand
Rest in equanimity



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I need a place to think outloud

There is an inordinate amount of change taking place in my life these days.
One of the discoveries emerging is my need to render some introspection and then open up new pathways toward a purposeful life. I get to reshape my life functionally in its outward expression, but more importantly, from the inside.

Reflections on one man's "insides" would be a apt description of what I would like to write about.

Courage vulnerability and reflections on the way forward to
Personal Renewal.




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Revolution in our Times

Techno Revolution + Self-Government - Medium by dylaneleven

How to engage in nonviolent revolution?
This is the question for our times... "Do you have the stomach for your part?" Will you commit to changing your personal 5 meter sphere of influence?  Choose your path or it will choose you.

Global Financial Fraud, Global Hope

Here is a very frank and simple explanation of what is wrong
Hang on to your hats America

Global Financial Fraud, Global Hope

The world financial system is one gargantuan Ponzi scheme...

Global Finacial Fraud