Fearlessly

In my world of spirit heart
Trust is stronger than lust.

As I reveal myself to you there is no barrier to truth.

A man with a human heart
Flawed though it may be.

Fearlessly....


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Kiss me if you dare

It's late, the marsh is mostly silent in the moon glow. Bits of bird songs trickle through the cool night air.
My camera is useless it is so dark, but my eyes can see every detail in the moonlight.

Bahia you soothe my insides. Calm, wonder, as I marvel at the night sky. Smaller and smaller I become, as I contemplate the vastness of the stars.

Until eventually, I'm dizzy with oneness... Spinning on the interconnectedness wheel around the sun. Temporarily sitting at station Luna. Gawking at the bright glowing orb of feminine mystery beaming love from the heavens.

All around me an exquisite symphony of silence. Alone here, even the comic book in my brain is willing to shut off in reverence to this moment.

Spinning slowly in the night, a heart full of gratitude and a soul full of love.

Kiss me.... If you dare...
But say nothing to wake the night.


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Flower of Love

Sweet, I blame you not, for mine the fault was, had I not been made of common
clay
I had climbed the higher heights unclimbed yet, seen the fuller air, the
larger day.

From the wildness of my wasted passion I had struck a better, clearer song,
Lit some lighter light of freer freedom, battled with some Hydra-headed wrong.

Had my lips been smitten into music by the kisses that but made them bleed,
You had walked with Bice and the angels on that verdant and enamelled meed.

I had trod the road which Dante treading saw the suns of seven circles shine,
Ay! perchance had seen the heavens opening, as they opened to the Florentine.

And the mighty nations would have crowned me, who am crownless now and without
name,
And some orient dawn had found me kneeling on the threshold of the House of
Fame.

I had sat within that marble circle where the oldest bard is as the young,
And the pipe is ever dropping honey, and the lyre's strings are ever strung.

Keats had lifted up his hymeneal curls from out the poppy-seeded wine,
With ambrosial mouth had kissed my forehead, clasped the hand of noble love in
mine.

And at springtide, when the apple-blossoms brush the burnished bosom of the
dove,
Two young lovers lying in an orchard would have read the story of our love;

Would have read the legend of my passion, known the bitter secret of my heart,
Kissed as we have kissed, but never parted as we two are fated now to part.

For the crimson flower of our life is eaten by the cankerworm of truth,
And no hand can gather up the fallen withered petals of the rose of youth.

Yet I am not sorry that I loved you -ah! what else had I a boy to do? -
For the hungry teeth of time devour, and the silent-footed years pursue.

Rudderless, we drift athwart a tempest, and when once the storm of youth is
past,
Without lyre, without lute or chorus, Death the silent pilot comes at last.

And within the grave there is no pleasure, for the blindworm battens on the
root,
And Desire shudders into ashes, and the tree of Passion bears no fruit.

Ah! what else had I to do but love you? God's own mother was less dear to me,
And less dear the Cytheraean rising like an argent lily from the sea.

I have made my choice, have lived my poems, and, though youth is gone in
wasted days,
I have found the lover's crown of myrtle better than the poet's crown of bays.
Oscar Wilde

Settling down inside

My awareness is gradually shifting from a kind of fight or flight panic about sex and relationships, and where my next hit of affection is coming from.

Now there is a calming sense of establishing a routine of self care, coupled with the idea that I can redefine myself overall.

The first stage of that is really examining my priorities, desires, and talents. Then from that inventory, shaping a path for the next phase of my life.

Does a full inventory and examination of purpose take long?
What will be the employment landscape?
Does music really mean as much to me now as it has in the past?
I haven't written any new songs in a long time, what's that about?

Ah.... One breath at a time...
Love myself first...



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Renewal

At the point on my walk I began to understand the core of this struggle. It started with an internal question," who's gonna want me ( value ) me?"

The endorphins chimed in, who the fuck cares as long as you value yourself! Simple, it was as if a cloud opened and revealed the sun.

So begins this journey at 51. The path before me, the forks I take, I owe those choices to no one. I walk alone, and I go where the scent of adventure takes me.

I have a feeling there are going to be others out there on this trail... Maybe they know some good jokes. I'm gonna learn a few and have some fun!

Cooking classes sound strangely fun.
😎



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