So there's this ravenous beast. Just consuming massive amounts of interaction with any, people it can find, any social media any kind of attention the beast can get. All to avoid having to face one simple truth. The truth that is found in the stillness of personal reflection. The truth of being able to recognize one's own Duality divinity and fecundity. In the strange context of the ego actually breaking up starting to crack, and the whole concept of separation and identity becoming irrelevant.
Then shit gets real interesting when you double down on the next concept. Amidst this partial awakening or dissolving of separation, I found this understanding of my history. Literally a lifetime of trying to maneuver and position myself so I would receive the kinds of affection and accolades and strokes that I felt I needed or what I felt I'd been denied somehow.
The point is during all that time I was really kind of this amorphous personality that would shift and adjust in order to fit into what I thought the best possible strategic place was to receive safety and security. Imagine waking up to the fact that you been pretending for 50 years of your life. Well, not really pretending but on some level at least rearranging your make up.
So as I begin to unpack all this stuff, I realize the masks I've been wearing all of this time. But, now I have this incredible opportunity to stop! With this powerful awareness I now have the ability to quit doing it.
The thing is, right now every time I take the mask off the beast he just runs around looking for another place to camouflage himself. Then to complicate matters, my awareness rips the mask off the camouflage every five seconds and the beast runs around some more!
I'm being told by all of my sage friends and paid wiseacres, that in some ways now I have the opportunity to get to know the beast the chance to teach him to do yoga and swim and eat right, Even just sit quietly at peace by myself.
Right now it's kind of hard.
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